Abagabo benshi batekereza ko gukora cyane no gutunga urugo bihagije, ariko ku bagore benshi icy’ingenzi kurushaho ni ukumva ko bumvwa, bubashywe kandi bakundwa. Menya ibibazo 7 byoroshye ariko bikomeye bishobora kongera urukundo n’icyizere mu rushako.
Mu buzima bw’urushako, hari igihe abantu babana imyaka myinshi ariko bagasanga mu by’ukuri batakivugana ku by’ingenzi. Abashakanye bashobora gusangira inzu, kurera abana hamwe, gukorera hamwe inshingano z’umuryango, ariko bagasanga umutima wabo utagihura nk’uko byahoze mbere. Ibi akenshi biterwa n’uko hari ibiganiro by’ingenzi bitigeze bibaho cyangwa byagiye birengagizwa.
Abagabo benshi batekereza ko gutanga amafaranga yo gutunga urugo, kurinda umuryango no gukora inshingano zabo bihagije kugira ngo urushako rukomeze. Ariko ku bagore benshi, ikintu cy’ingenzi kurusha ibindi ni ukumva ko bumvwa, ko bubashywe kandi ko amarangamutima yabo ahabwa agaciro.
Hari ibibazo 7 by’ingenzi umugabo ashobora kubaza umugore we bikamufasha kumva neza umutima we, impungenge ze n’ibyo yifuza mu rugo. Ibi bibazo ntibigarukira ku gutangiza ikiganiro gusa, ahubwo bifasha kubaka icyizere, gukomeza urukundo no kongera imbaraga mu mubano.
1. “Ni ryari wumva uri wenyine cyane muri uru rushako?”
Iki ni ikibazo gikomeye cyane, ariko abagabo benshi ntibakibaza abagore babo. Hari abagore benshi bumva bari bonyine nubwo babana n’abagabo babo munsi y’inzu imwe.
Hari igihe umugore yumva ari wenyine igihe:
umugabo we atamwumva cyangwa atamwitaho mu biganiro
umugabo we akunda inshuti kurusha umuryango
amarangamutima ye asuzugurwa cyangwa agafatwa nk’ibintu bidafite agaciro
Umugore ashobora kubana nawe buri munsi, mukaryama mu cyumba kimwe, ariko akumva asa n’uwatawe mu marangamutima. Iyo umugabo abajije iki kibazo, aba agaragaje ko ashishikajwe no kumenya uko umugore we yiyumva, atareba gusa ibigaragara inyuma.
Ibi bituma umugore yumva afite umutekano wo kuvuga ibiri ku mutima we.
2. “Hari ikintu wigeze ushaka kumbwira ariko ukabura ubutwari bwo kukimbwira?”
Abagore benshi bahitamo guceceka aho kuvuga ibibabangamiye. Ibi ntibivuze ko nta kibazo gihari, ahubwo akenshi baba batinya ingaruka zishobora gukurikiraho.
Hari impamvu zituma umugore aceceka:
gutinya ko ikiganiro cyavamo amakimbirane
gutinya uburakari bw’umugabo
gutinya ko azumva nabi ibyo yavuze
Iyo guceceka kumaze igihe kirekire, bitangira kubaka intera hagati y’abashakanye. Umugabo ashobora gutekereza ko byose ari byiza, ariko mu mutima w’umugore ibintu bikaba byaratangiye guhinduka.
Iyo umugabo ateye intambwe akavuga ati:
“Urashobora kumbwira ukuri nta bwoba. Nzaguteze amatwi.”
aba arema umutekano utuma icyizere cyongera kubakwa.
3. “Ni umugabo umeze ute wifuzaga ko nzaba igihe twashakanaga?”
Umugore wese yinjira mu rushako afite inzozi n’ibyo yifuza ku buzima bwe n’umugabo we. Akenshi aba atekereza uko ubuzima bwabo buzaba bumeze mu myaka iri imbere.
Ashobora kuba yaratekerezaga:
umugabo umushyigikira mu buzima
umugabo uyobora urugo mu bwitonzi no mu rukundo
se wita ku bana kandi akabaha umwanya
umugabo umurinda mu marangamutima
Iki kibazo gifasha umugabo kumenya niba hari aho atageze ku byo umugore we yifuzaga. Ntabwo ari ikibazo cyo gushinja cyangwa kwitana ba mwana, ahubwo ni amahirwe yo gusubiza ibintu ku murongo.
Iyo umugabo amenye ibyo umugore we yifuzaga, ashobora guhindura imyitwarire ye kugira ngo abe wa mugabo yari yaratekereje.
4. “Ni ibiki nkora bigutera kunyishimira?”
Ibiganiro byinshi mu rushako byibanda ku bibazo gusa. Ariko umubano ukomeye nawo ukeneye gushimira no kubona ibyiza mugenzi wawe akora.
Iyo umugabo abajije iki kibazo, aha umugore amahirwe yo kuvuga ibintu byiza amubonamo.
Ashobora kuvuga ati:
“Iyo ukora cyane kugira ngo umuryango ubashe kubaho neza.”
“Iyo undwanirira imbere y’abandi.”
“Iyo ufata umwanya wo kuba hamwe n’abana.”
Aya magambo ashobora kugaragaza ibintu umugabo akora neza atari azi ko bifite agaciro gakomeye ku mugore we.
Iyo umuntu amenye ibyo akora neza, bituma ashishikarira kubikora kurushaho.
5. “Ni iki kiguhangayikishije cyane ku hazaza h’urugo rwacu?”
Abagore benshi batwara imitwaro myinshi y’ibitekerezo ku hazaza h’umuryango. Hari impungenge bashobora kuba bafite ariko ntibabivuge.
Zimwe muri izo mpungenge zishobora kuba:
uko ubukungu bw’umuryango buzaba bumeze
ejo hazaza h’abana
ubuzima bw’umugabo cyangwa ubwabo
niba urushako rwabo ruzakomeza gukomera
Iyo abashakanye baganiriye ku mpungenge zabo, bahinduka ikipe imwe ihangana n’ibibazo. Ntibakomeza kubaho buri wese afite ubwoba bwe mu mutima.
Urugo rukomeye ni urugo abashakanye bahuriza hamwe imbaraga zabo mu guhangana n’ibibazo.
6. “Ni mu buhe buryo nagufashije koroshya ubuzima bwawe… kandi ni mu buhe buryo nagukomereye?”
Iki ni ikibazo gisaba umutima wihangana kuko ibisubizo bishobora kuba bitaryoshye kumva.
Mu by’ukuri, urushako rwagombye koroshya ubuzima, si ukurutuma ruremera kurushaho.
Umugore ashobora kuba yumva arambiwe n’ibintu byinshi nk’ibi:
imirimo yo mu rugo yose imusigayeho
kurera abana wenyine
guhangana n’ibibazo by’amarangamutima wenyine
Iyo umugabo amenye ibi, ashobora gufata icyemezo cyo gutanga ubufasha bwinshi.
Akenshi, igikorwa gito cy’umugabo gishobora gukuraho umutwaro munini mu mutima w’umugore.
7. “Ni urushako rumeze rute wifuza ko tuzaba dufite mu myaka 10 iri imbere?”
Iki kibazo cyimura ibitekerezo biva ku bibazo by’uyu munsi bikajya ku cyerekezo cy’ejo hazaza.
Umugore ashobora kuvuga ko yifuza:
urugo rufite amahoro n’umutekano
uburyo bwiza bwo kuvugana no kumvikana
iterambere ry’ubukungu bw’umuryango
ubuzima bw’umwuka bukomeye
Iyo abashakanye bafite icyerekezo kimwe, ubuzima bwabo bugira aho bwerekeza. Ntibakomeza gutwarwa n’ibibazo by’umunsi ku munsi gusa.
Umwanzuro: Urugo rukomeye rwubakwa n’abashakanye bakomeza kwiga kumenyana
Ukuri ni uko urugo rukomeye rutubakwa n’abantu badafite ibibazo. Ahubwo rutubakwa n’abantu badahagarika kugerageza kumva no gusobanukirwa mugenzi wabo.
Umugabo w’umunyabwenge ntatekereza ko amaze kumenya umugore we byose. Ahubwo ahora ashishikajwe no kumenya neza:
umutima we
ibyo atinya
inzozi ze
ibyo akeneye mu buzima
Iyo umugore yumvise ko asobanukiwe by’ukuri, ahinduka inshuti nziza kurushaho, umukunzi wimbitse ndetse n’umufatanyabikorwa ukomeye mu rugo.
Urushako ntirukomera kubera amagambo meza gusa, rukomera kubera ibiganiro by’ukuri bituma imitima y’abantu ibana neza.
