Impamvu Gatanya Ziyongera Mu Miryango: Abahanga Bagira Inama Urubyiruko Kwitondera Umushinga w’Urugo

Mu myaka ishize, imanza za gatanya zikomeje kugaragara mu miryango myinshi mu bihugu bitandukanye, harimo n’u Rwanda. Abashakanye benshi batangira ubuzima bw’urugo bafite ibyiringiro byinshi, ariko nyuma y’igihe gito bamwe bagasanga ibintu bitagenda nk’uko babyifuzaga, bigatuma bafata icyemezo cyo gutandukana.

Bamwe mu bahanga mu mategeko n’imibereho y’imiryango bavuga ko imwe mu mpamvu nyamukuru ituma gatanya ziyongera ari uko hari abantu bafata ubukwe nk’umushinga woroshye cyangwa nk’uburyo bwo kunguka inyungu runaka aho kubufata nk’iyemezo rikomeye risaba gutekereza neza.

Umunyamategeko Ibambe Jean Paul agaragaza ko hari abantu bajya gushyingirwa bafite imyumvire idakwiye ku bijyanye n’urugo. Avuga ko hari abatekereza bati: “Reka nshyingiranwe n’uyu muntu, tuvange umutungo, hanyuma ejo nibitagenda neza dutandukane.”

Iyi myumvire, nk’uko abahanga babivuga, ishobora kuba imwe mu mpamvu zituma imanza za gatanya zigenda ziyongera mu nkiko.

Ubukwe si umushinga woroshye

Gushinga urugo ni kimwe mu byemezo bikomeye umuntu afata mu buzima bwe. Si icyemezo gifatwa mu kanya gato cyangwa ngo gifatwe kubera igitutu cy’inshuti n’imiryango.

Cyuzuzo Jeanne d’Arc, umwe mu bantu bagira inama imiryango ku bijyanye n’imibanire, avuga ko abantu bagomba kumenya ko gushyingiranwa ari umushinga usumba indi yose.

Yagize ati: “Abantu bakwiye kumenya ko umushinga wo gushyingiranwa si umushinga uwo ari wo wose, ni umushinga usumba indi.”

Ibi bivuze ko urugo rudasaba gusa urukundo, ahubwo rudasaba:

• kwihangana

• kumvikana

• kubahana

• gufatanya mu bibazo by’ubuzima

Iyo ibi byose bititabwaho neza, urugo rushobora guhura n’ibibazo bikomeye.

Urukundo si amarangamutima gusa

Hari abantu benshi batekereza ko urukundo ari amarangamutima gusa. Ariko abahanga mu by’imibanire bavuga ko urukundo rufite byinshi birenze amarangamutima.

Mukandemezo Colette asobanura ko urukundo ari amahitamo umuntu afata buri munsi.

Yagize ati: “Urukundo ni amahitamo ya buri munsi, n’urugo ni amahitamo ya buri munsi.”

Ibi bisobanura ko:

• gukunda umuntu si amarangamutima gusa

• bisaba guhitamo kumwitaho buri munsi

• bisaba kumwihanganira mu bihe bigoye

• bisaba gukomeza kumwitaho n’igihe ibintu bitagenda neza

Iyo abantu batangiye kubona ko urukundo ari inshingano ya buri munsi, urugo rushobora kuramba.

Umuntu mwashakanye ntabwo ari marayika

Ikindi kibazo gikomeye gishobora gutuma imiryango myinshi ihura n’ibibazo ni ukwitega ibintu bidashoboka ku muntu mwashakanye.

Umunyamategeko Ibambe Jean Paul asobanura ko abantu bagomba kumenya ko uwo bashakanye atari marayika.

Buri muntu afite:

• amakosa

• intege nke

• imyitwarire ishobora kutaryohera mugenzi we

Iyo abantu bashyingiranywe batiteguye kwakira ayo makosa, bishobora kubateza amakimbirane.

Ni yo mpamvu abahanga bagira inama abashakanye kwiga kwihanganirana no kumvikana mu gihe habayeho ibibazo.

Kwihanganirana ni inkingi y’urugo

Mu buzima bw’urugo, ntibishoboka ko ibintu byose bigenda neza buri gihe.

Hari igihe abashakanye bashobora:

• kutumvikana

• kugira ibibazo by’amafaranga

• guhura n’ibibazo by’akazi

• cyangwa ibibazo by’ubuzima

Mukandemezo Colette avuga ko umuryango ugomba kubakira ku kwihanganirana hagati y’abashakanye.

Kwihanganirana bisobanura:

• kumva mugenzi wawe

• kumugirira impuhwe

• kumufasha mu bihe bigoye

• kudafata icyemezo cyihuse cyo gutandukana

Iyo abashakanye bafite uwo muco, urugo rushobora kuramba nubwo haba hari ibibazo.

Urubyiruko rw’ubu rujya gushaka rutaritegura bihagije

Abahanga benshi bavuga ko ikindi kibazo gikomeye ari uko bamwe mu rubyiruko rw’ubu bajya gushyingirwa bataritegura bihagije.

Bamwe bajya gushaka:

• kubera igitutu cy’inshuti

• kubera imyaka

• kubera inyungu z’amafaranga

• cyangwa kubera amarangamutima y’igihe gito

Ariko gushinga urugo bisaba byinshi birenze ibyo.

Abantu bagomba mbere na mbere kumenya neza:

• uwo bagiye kubana

• intego zabo z’ubuzima

• uburyo bazakemura ibibazo

Iyo ibi bititaweho, urugo rushobora guhura n’ibibazo mu gihe gito.

Ingaruka za gatanya ku muryango

Gatanya si ikibazo cy’abashakanye gusa. Ifite ingaruka zikomeye ku muryango wose.

Iyo abashakanye batandukanye:

• abana bashobora guhura n’ibibazo by’amarangamutima

• imiryango yombi ishobora kugira amakimbirane

• ubuzima bw’imibereho bushobora guhinduka

Ni yo mpamvu abahanga bagira inama abantu kwitondera icyemezo cyo gushyingiranwa.

Uko abashakanye bashobora kurinda urugo rwabo

Hari ibintu byinshi abashakanye bashobora gukora kugira ngo barinde urugo rwabo.

Bimwe muri byo harimo:

1. Kuvugana kenshi

Kuganira ni imwe mu nkingi z’ingenzi z’urugo. Iyo abashakanye baganira ku bibazo byabo hakiri kare, bishobora gukemuka bitarakura.

2. Kubahana

Kubahana hagati y’abashakanye bituma urugo rugira amahoro.

3. Kwiga kubabarirana

Nta muntu utagira amakosa. Kubabarirana bituma amakimbirane adahinduka inzika.

4. Gufatanya mu bibazo

Iyo abashakanye bafatanya mu bibazo by’ubuzima, bituma bagira ubumwe bukomeye.

Uruhare rw’umuryango n’inshuti

Umuryango n’inshuti na byo bifite uruhare runini mu kubaka cyangwa gusenya urugo.

Iyo umuryango:

• utera inkunga abashakanye

• ubagira inama nziza

• ubafasha gukemura ibibazo

bishobora gutuma urugo rukomera.

Ariko iyo habayeho kwivanga mu buryo budakwiye, bishobora guteza amakimbirane.

Umwanzuro

Gushinga urugo ni icyemezo gikomeye cyane gisaba gutekereza neza no kwitegura bihagije. Nk’uko abahanga babivuga, ubukwe si umushinga woroshye cyangwa uwo gufata nk’igerageza.

Umunyamategeko Ibambe Jean Paul agaragaza ko hari abantu bafata ubukwe nk’umushinga wo kuvanga umutungo bagahita batandukana, ariko iyi myumvire ishobora gutuma imanza za gatanya ziyongera.

Ku rundi ruhande, Mukandemezo Colette na Cyuzuzo Jeanne d’Arc basobanura ko urugo rurasaba kwihanganirana, kubahana no gufata urukundo nk’ihitamo rya buri munsi.

Iyo abashakanye bumvise neza ko uwo bashakanye atari marayika, kandi bakiyemeza gufatanya mu bibazo by’ubuzima, urugo rushobora kuramba kandi rukagira amahoro.

Ni yo mpamvu urubyiruko rusabwa kwitegura neza mbere yo gushyingiranwa, rukamenya ko urugo ari umushinga ukomeye kurusha indi yose mu buzima.