Ibintu 5 Abagore Bakunze Gukora Iyo Batangiye Kuvugana n’Undi Mugabo Mu Ibanga – Isomo Rikomeye ku Buzima bw’Urukundo
Urukundo ni imwe mu nkingi zikomeye zigize ubuzima bw’umuntu. Iyo abantu babiri bakundana, bubaka icyizere, ubwubahane n’ubusabane butuma umubano wabo uramba. Ariko mu buzima bw’iki gihe, hari igihe usanga umubano utangira guhinduka buhoro buhoro bitewe n’impamvu zitandukanye.
Abagabo benshi bakunze kuvuga ko rimwe na rimwe batangira kubona impinduka ku bagore bakundana na bo ariko ntibasobanukirwe neza icyo izo mpinduka zisobanura. Hari igihe umugore ashobora gutangira kugira imyitwarire itandukanye n’iyo yari asanzwe agira, bigatera umukunzi we kwibaza byinshi.
Ni ngombwa kumenya ko iyo impinduka mu myitwarire zibayeho akenshi ziba zifite impamvu. Ntabwo buri gihe bisobanura ko hari undi muntu uri hagati mu rukundo, ariko rimwe na rimwe bishobora kuba ikimenyetso ko hari ibintu biri guhinduka mu marangamutima y’uwo muntu.
Muri iyi nkuru ndende , tugiye gusobanura ibintu 5 abagore bakunze gukora iyo batangiye kuvugana n’undi mugabo mu ibanga. Ibi ntibigamije gutera amakenga cyangwa gutuma abantu bashinja abandi, ahubwo bigamije gufasha abantu gusobanukirwa impinduka zishobora kubaho mu rukundo kugira ngo babashe kuganira no gushaka ibisubizo.
1. Atangira Kugira Intera mu Marangamutima (She Becomes Emotionally Distant)
Kimwe mu bimenyetso bya mbere bishobora kugaragara iyo umugore atangiye kuvugana n’undi mugabo mu ibanga ni kugira intera mu marangamutima.
Mu ntangiriro z’umubano, abakundana baba bafite ibyishimo byinshi. Bavugana kenshi, bagasabana, bagasangira ibitekerezo n’inzozi zabo. Ariko iyo ibintu bitangiye guhinduka, rimwe na rimwe uwo mugore ashobora gutangira kugabanya uburyo agaragaza amarangamutima.
Urugero rw’ibyo bishobora kugaragara:
Ntaba agikunda kuvuga cyane nk’uko byahoze
Ntaba agikunda gusangiza umukunzi we ibibazo cyangwa ibyishimo bye
Ibiganiro byabo bitangira kuba bigufi cyangwa bidafite ubushyuhe
Iyo umuntu atangiye gushora amarangamutima ahandi, akenshi uburyo yitwaraga mu rukundo rwe bwa mbere butangira kugabanuka.
Ibi ntibivuze ko buri gihe biterwa n’uko hari undi mugabo. Hari igihe bishobora guterwa n’umunaniro, ibibazo byo mu kazi cyangwa ibibazo byo mu buzima. Ariko iyo biherekejwe n’ibindi bimenyetso byinshi, bishobora kuba ikimenyetso cy’uko hari ikintu kiri guhinduka mu mubano.
Ikintu cy’ingenzi umugabo yakora muri iki gihe si ugushinja cyangwa kurakara, ahubwo ni kuganira mu mahoro akamenya niba hari ikibazo kiri mu mubano wabo.
2. Atangira Kurinda Cyane Telefoni Ye (She Guards Her Phone)
Mu gihe cya mbere cy’urukundo, abantu benshi baba badafite byinshi bahisha. Telefoni ntiba ikibazo gikomeye mu mubano.
Ariko rimwe na rimwe, umugore ashobora gutangira kurinda cyane telefoni ye mu buryo butari busanzwe.
Ibi bishobora kugaragara mu buryo bukurikira:
Guhita afunga telefoni iyo ugiye kuyireba
Guhindura ijambo ry’ibanga (password)
Kujya gusubiriza ubutumwa ahandi hatari hafi yawe
Guhisha notifications
Iyi myitwarire ishobora gutuma umukunzi we atangira kugira amakenga.
Ariko ni ngombwa kumenya ko ubuzima bwite bw’umuntu (privacy) ari ingenzi. Ntabwo ari byiza kugenzura telefoni y’umuntu buri gihe cyangwa kumusaba kuyerekana nk’ikimenyetso cy’icyizere.
Ariko iyo ihinduka rikabije cyane ugereranyije n’uko byahoze mbere, bishobora kuba ikimenyetso ko hari ibiganiro ashaka guhisha.
Icy’ingenzi si ugucukumbura telefoni ye ku ngufu, ahubwo ni ukuganira ku cyizere kiri mu mubano.
3. Atangira Kukugereranya n’Abandi Bagabo (She Subtly Compares You)
Ikindi kimenyetso gishobora kugaragara ni gutangira kugereranya umukunzi we n’abandi bagabo.
Rimwe na rimwe umugore ashobora kuvuga amagambo nk’aya:
“Hari abagabo bazi kwita ku bagore babo kurushaho.”
“Hari abandi bagabo bafasha cyane mu rugo.”
“Hari abagabo bazi gutegura neza ubuzima bwabo.”
Aya magambo ashobora kutavuga umuntu runaka mu buryo butaziguye, ariko ashobora kugaragaza ko mu mutwe we hari undi mugabo ari kugereranya na we.
Iyo umuntu atangiye kuvugana cyane n’undi muntu, akenshi atangira kubona ibyiza bye cyane kurusha ibyiza by’uwo bari kumwe.
Ibi bishobora guteza ikibazo gikomeye mu mubano kuko bigabanya icyizere n’icyubahiro hagati y’abakundana.
Ariko aho kubifata nk’igitero, ni byiza kubifata nk’amahirwe yo kuganira ku byo buri wese akeneye mu mubano.
4. Gahunda Ze Zitangira Guhinduka (Her Schedule Changes Randomly)
Iyo abantu bakundana cyane, akenshi baba bafite gahunda bahurizaho.
Ariko rimwe na rimwe umugore ashobora gutangira kugira gahunda nshya zitunguranye.
Ibi bishobora kugaragara mu buryo bukurikira:
Guhora avuga ko ahuze cyane
Kugira inshuti nshya zitazwi
Kujya mu bikorwa byinshi utazi neza
Guhindura gahunda yari asanzwe agirana nawe
Iyo umuntu atangiye gukoresha umwanya we ahandi, bishobora gutuma umukunzi we atangira kubona ko umwanya yari asanzwe amuhaye ugabanuka.
Ariko nanone, ni ngombwa kumenya ko ubuzima bw’umuntu bushobora guhinduka bitewe n’akazi, inshuti cyangwa inshingano nshya.
Ni yo mpamvu itumanaho (communication) ari ingenzi cyane mu mubano.
5. Inyungu Yari Afite Mu Rukundo Itangira Kugabanuka (Her Interest in You Fades)
Kimwe mu bimenyetso bigaragara cyane ni kugabanuka k’urukundo agaragaza.
Mu ntangiriro z’umubano, abakundana bagira ibintu byinshi bibahuza:
Gutumirana ubutumwa
Gutegurana ibihe byiza
Gutanga compliments
Kugaragaza ko bishimira kubana
Ariko iyo umuntu atangiye gushora amarangamutima ahandi, ibi byose bishobora kugabanuka.
Umugore ashobora:
Kutongera kukwandikira kenshi
Kutakwereka ko agushimira
Kutongera gukora utuntu duto twagaragazaga urukundo
Iyo ibi bibaye, bishobora kugaragaza ko amarangamutima ye ari kugenda ahinduka.
Ariko nanone, ni ngombwa kutihutira gufata umwanzuro. Hari igihe abantu banyura mu bihe bigoye mu buzima bikagira ingaruka ku buryo bagaragaza urukundo.
Icy’Ingenzi Gukora Iyo Ubonye Ibi Bimenyetso
Iyo ubonye zimwe muri izi mpinduka, icy’ingenzi si:
kurakara
gushinja
gukora iperereza rikabije
Ahubwo icy’ingenzi ni:
1. Kuganira mu mahoro
Itumanaho ni ryo shingiro ry’umubano mwiza. Vugana n’umukunzi wawe mu buryo butuje.
2. Kugerageza kumva impamvu
Hari igihe impinduka zituruka ku bibazo byihariye mu buzima.
3. Kwitegereza imyitwarire
Ntugafate umwanzuro uhubutse. Reba niba izo mpinduka zikomeza kubaho.
4. Gushyira imbere icyubahiro
Urukundo rwiza rugomba kuba rufite icyizere n’icyubahiro hagati y’abakundana.
Umusozo
Mu rukundo, impinduka mu myitwarire zishobora kubaho ku mpamvu nyinshi. Hari igihe ziterwa n’ibibazo by’ubuzima, ariko hari n’igihe zishobora kugaragaza ko amarangamutima y’umuntu ari guhinduka.
Ibintu nka:
kugira intera mu marangamutima
kurinda cyane telefoni
kugereranya umukunzi n’abandi
guhindura gahunda za buri munsi
kugabanya urukundo agaragaza
bishobora kuba ibimenyetso by’uko hari impinduka mu mubano.
Ariko igisubizo cyiza si ugushinja cyangwa kurwana, ahubwo ni kuganira, kumva no gufata imyanzuro ifasha kubaka umubano ushingiye ku cyizere n’icyubahiro.
Urukundo rukomeye ntirushingira ku gukeka, ahubwo rushingira ku itumanaho, ubwubahane n’ukuri hagati y’abakundana. Iyo ibyo bihari, umubano ushobora kuramba nubwo habaho ibigeragezo byinshi mu buzima.
