bintu 9 Bituma Urukundo Mu Bashakanye Rugenda Rugabanuka Buhoro Buhoro (Abenshi Ntibabimenya Hakiri Kare)
Mu ntangiriro z’umubano, abantu benshi baba bafite ibyishimo byinshi. Kuvugana, gusohokana, gutungurana no kwitaho biba ari ibintu bisanzwe. Ariko uko imyaka igenda ishira, hari ibintu bimwe na bimwe byinjira buhoro buhoro mu mubano bigatuma urukundo rutangira kugabanuka.
Ikibazo gikomeye ni uko ibi bintu akenshi bitangira ari bito cyane ku buryo abantu batabibona hakiri kare. Ariko nyuma y’igihe kirekire bishobora guhinduka ikibazo gikomeye.
Abahanga mu mibanire bagaragaza ko kumenya ibi bintu hakiri kare bifasha abashakanye kurinda umubano wabo.
Dore bimwe muri byo.
1. Kureka kuvugana ibiganiro byimbitse
Mu ntangiriro z’urukundo, abantu bakunda kuvugana cyane. Bashobora kumara amasaha kuri telefoni, baganira ku buzima, ku nzozi, ku byo bakunda ndetse no ku byo bifuza kugeraho mu buzima.
Ariko uko igihe kigenda, hari abagenda bagabanya ibiganiro. Ibiganiro bigasigara ari iby’ibanze gusa.
Urugero:
“Waraye neza?”
“Akazi kagenze gute?”
“Tuzarya iki nimugoroba?”
Nubwo ibi nabyo ari ingenzi, iyo ari byo biganiro byonyine bisigaye, umubano utangira kubura ubujyakuzimu.
Mu by’ukuri, ibiganiro byimbitse ni byo bituma abantu bumva begereye mugenzi wabo.
Urugero rufatika:
Hari abashakanye bashobora kumara amezi menshi bataganiriye ku nzozi zabo, ku bibahangayikishije cyangwa ku bintu byabashimishije mu buzima. Buri wese agatangira kubaho ubuzima bwe mu mutwe.
Ibi bishobora gutuma:
ubucuti bugabanuka
kumenyana kugabanuka
urukundo rukagenda rusubira inyuma.
Ni yo mpamvu abahanga mu mibanire bavuga ko ibiganiro byimbitse bigomba gukomeza no mu bashakanye bamaze imyaka myinshi.
2. Gufata mugenzi wawe nk’ikintu gisanzwe
Iyo abantu bamaze igihe kinini bari kumwe, hari igihe umwe ashobora gutangira kubona undi nk’ikintu gisanzwe mu buzima bwe.
Ibi bishobora kugaragara mu bintu byinshi nko:
kutakivuga amagambo meza
kutakigaragaza ko umwishimira
kumwibagirwa mu bintu bimwe na bimwe.
Urugero:
Mu ntangiriro z’urukundo, umuntu ashobora gutungurwa n’ubutumwa bwiza, impano cyangwa amagambo yuje urukundo. Ariko nyuma y’igihe, ibi bishobora kugabanuka.
Ibi ntibisobanura ko urukundo rwashize, ariko bishobora gutuma mugenzi wawe yumva ko atacyitabwaho nk’uko byahoze.
Hari umugabo umwe wigeze kuvuga ati:
“Numvaga ko umugore wanjye azi ko mukunda, ni yo mpamvu ntabonaga impamvu yo kubimubwira kenshi.”
Nyamara ku ruhande rw’umugore, amagambo nk’ayo yari akenewe.
Abahanga mu mibanire bavuga ko kugaragaza urukundo kenshi ari ingenzi cyane no mu bashakanye bamaze igihe kinini.
3. Imihangayiko y’ubuzima bwa buri munsi
Ubuzima bw’iki gihe bufite ibintu byinshi bisaba imbaraga.
Harimo:
akazi
gushaka amafaranga
kwita ku bana
inshingano zo mu rugo
n’ibindi bibazo by’ubuzima.
Iyo ibi byose byiyongereye, abantu bashobora kubura umwanya wo kwita ku mubano wabo.
Urugero:
Umuntu ashobora gutaha ananiwe cyane ku buryo atifuza kuganira cyangwa gusabana. Ibi nibiba kenshi, mugenzi we ashobora gutangira kumva ko atacyitabwaho.
Ikindi kandi, stress ishobora kugira ingaruka ku marangamutima y’umuntu.
Iyo umuntu ahora ahangayitse:
kwihangana kugabanuka
umujinya ukiyongera
n’ibiganiro bikaba bibi.
Ibi bishobora gutuma abashakanye batangira kugirana amakimbirane menshi.
Ni yo mpamvu ari ingenzi ko abashakanye bashaka uburyo bwo kuruhuka no gufata igihe cyo kubana, nubwo ubuzima bwaba buhuze.
4. Kudashimira ibyo mugenzi wawe akora
Hari ibintu byinshi abantu bakora mu mubano buri munsi, ariko ntibibone agaciro.
Urugero:
gutegura amafunguro
gukora akazi ko mu rugo
gushaka amafaranga
kwita ku bana
gufasha mu bibazo bitandukanye.
Iyo ibi bintu bititabwaho cyangwa ntibishimirwe, umuntu ashobora kumva ko ibyo akora bitagira agaciro.
Urugero rufatika:
Umugore ashobora kumara umunsi wose ategura urugo, ariko nta jambo na rimwe ry’ishimwe yumvise.
Ku rundi ruhande, umugabo ashobora gukora cyane ashaka amafaranga, ariko ntihagire ubimushimira.
Iyo ibi bikomeje igihe kirekire, bishobora gutuma:
abantu batakigira imbaraga zo gukora byinshi
kumva batishimiwe
n’urukundo rukagabanuka.
Amagambo yoroshye nka “urakoze” ashobora guhindura byinshi mu mubano.
5. Kureka gukomeza kuba inshuti
Abashakanye benshi bishimye bavuga ko batari gusa umugabo n’umugore, ahubwo ari inshuti nziza cyane.
Inshuti:
ziraganira
ziseka
zisabana
kandi zifatanya mu bintu byinshi.
Ariko hari abashakanye bagenda batandukana muri ubu buryo.
Urugero:
Bashobora kuba babana mu nzu imwe ariko:
umwe ari kuri telefoni
undi ari kuri televiziyo
cyangwa buri wese ari mu bindi bye.
Igihe cyo gusabana kigenda kigabanuka.
Iyo ubucuti bugabanutse, umubano utangira kumera nk’inshingano gusa aho kuba urukundo.
Ni yo mpamvu abahanga bavuga ko kubaka ubucuti mu bashakanye ari ingenzi cyane.
6. Kwibagirwa gutungurana
Gutunguza mugenzi wawe ni kimwe mu bintu bituma urukundo rukomeza kuba rushya.
Ntabwo bisaba ibintu bihenze cyane.
Urugero:
ubutumwa butunguranye
kumutegurira ifunguro akunda
kumusohokana
kumugurira impano nto.
Ibi bintu bituma umuntu yumva atekerezwaho.
Ariko iyo ibi byabuze burundu, umubano ushobora gutangira kumera nk’akamenyero.
Hari abantu bavuga bati:
“Twari tukiri abakundana twakoraga ibintu byinshi bishimishije, ariko ubu twahuze n’ubuzima.”
Nyamara n’ibintu bito bishobora kongera ibyishimo mu mubano.
7. Kutumva ibibazo bya mugenzi wawe
Hari igihe umuntu ashobora kugerageza kuvuga ikibazo afite, ariko mugenzi we ntabyiteho.
Urugero:
Umugore ashobora kuvuga ko ananiwe cyangwa afite ikibazo runaka, umugabo akabifata nk’aho ari ibintu bidafite akamaro.
Cyangwa umugabo akavuga ibimuremereye ku kazi, umugore ntabyiteho.
Iyo ibi bibaye kenshi, umuntu ashobora gutangira guceceka.
Aho kuvuga ibimuri ku mutima, agahitamo kubigumana.
Ibi bishobora gutuma habaho intera hagati y’abashakanye.
Kumva mugenzi wawe si ukumva amagambo gusa, ahubwo ni kumva n’amarangamutima ari inyuma yayo.
8. Kwigereranya n’abandi bantu
Mu gihe cy’imbuga nkoranyambaga, abantu benshi babona ubuzima bw’abandi buri munsi.
Amafoto:
y’ingendo
y’impano
y’ibirori
y’urukundo.
Ibi bishobora gutuma umuntu atangira kugereranya umubano we n’uw’abandi.
Ariko akenshi ibyo tubona ku mbuga nkoranyambaga ni igice cyiza gusa cy’ubuzima.
Urugero:
Umuntu ashobora kubona amafoto y’abashakanye basohokanye, akibwira ko ubuzima bwabo butagira ibibazo.
Nyamara inyuma y’ayo mafoto hashobora kuba hari ibibazo nk’iby’abandi bose.
Kwigereranya bishobora gutuma umuntu atishimira ibyo afite, kandi ibi bishobora kugira ingaruka ku mubano.
9. Kureka kubaka ejo hazaza hamwe
Mu ntangiriro z’urukundo, abantu bakunda kuvuga ku nzozi zabo.
Bavuga:
aho bifuza kugera
ubuzima bifuza kubaho
n’ibyo bifuza kugeraho nk’umuryango.
Ariko hari abagenda bareka kuganira kuri ibi.
Buri wese agatangira gutekereza ubuzima bwe ku giti cye.
Iyo ibi bibaye, umubano ushobora kugenda ucika buhoro buhoro.
Ariko iyo abantu bakomeje kubaka ejo hazaza hamwe:
bibaha icyizere
bibaha intego
kandi bigatuma bakomeza kwegerana.
Umusozo
Urukundo ntirwangirika mu munsi umwe. Kenshi rwangirika buhoro buhoro binyuze mu bintu bito abantu batitaho.
Ariko inkuru nziza ni uko ibi bintu bishobora gukosorwa igihe abantu babibonye hakiri kare.
Iyo abashakanye:
baganira
bubahana
bashimira ibyo bakorerwa
bagafata igihe cyo kubana,
umubano wabo ushobora gukomera kurushaho.
Urukundo rwiza si urudahura n’ibibazo, ahubwo ni urw’abantu bahitamo gukomeza kurwubaka buri munsi.
